boredom and beauty and the pause

Life lesson for the day:

“If, when you are yourself you are more funny than when you are not yourself, it is better to be yourself no?”

Christy does handstands on the steps to the station on the way to school in the morning.

Gaulier presses play on some hilarious Chinese music at a seriously high level of cheesiness. Judy turns around with an inexplicable look on her face, like she is bursting with something (laughter, tears?) she mimes the words and dances exactly to the music and then dissolves: “My father used to listen to this music”

Judy who turns into pure gold when her father’s music begins to play

Then he tells us the exercise is to perform Beijing Opera 1986 with our friend. Over and over again I sit there watching the desperate panic as people sweat and strain to stay on the stage.

He says of one couple: “She remind me of when I a kid and I got kick out of school by gymnastic teacher. It is good to remember no? But him I didn’t remember anything when he was acting.” It shifts something in my brain, thinking that it is fun to watch a clown because we are reminded of our childhood. Not just because the clown is like a non-specific child.

He says to another guy: “You are idiot and it is good you are idiot, but we have to see the clown who wants to do a good show.” I make a note in my head. To see the clown who wants to do a good show is different to seeing the person who wants to be a good clown.

The thing I learn the most from is when Gaulier stops the exercise and gets people to describe some of the flops that they made over the past few weeks.

I think I never understood about listening to the flop until now. That you make the flop, then you stand for a second in the concentrating attitude of having just finished the activity, then you look out at the audience with all your vulnerability (but not shame) for a painful amount of time, then you lightly acknowledge the flop.

The stillness required, so as not to be protecting yourself by moving, the drawn out length of the pause: these are things I feel like I can craft. The vulnerability and not feeling shame I feel less sure about. It's funny feeling like this is a revelation today when I think I've probably already written these thoughts before. It makes me think I'm going to have realisations again and again after this and they will feel new.

I mean to have a go. I agree with Josie that we will get up together. We stand up a few times but are beat by another pair every turn.

Josie waiting for our turn

I get bored. Desperately and childishly bored. I don’t want to hear him talk and I don’t want to watch the people trying the exercise. I can’t listen and I start to take photos and play with my phone instead.

QC keeps getting Gaulier to give people a second go until Judy, his wife kneels up, face flushing and half yells: "If you give them one more go, I promise I will divorce you!" There is a big laugh and then silence and then QC says "Give them one more go." and the room explodes.

It becomes clear that the turns are over and it is question time. I am bored in the question time too.

So is Joel.

I like to call this picture 'Joel listening to question time'

But then one answer makes me sit up and listen.

Philippe says:

“Clown is a small part of theatre. If you stay clown you are going to limit yourself. You have to discover many theatre possibility and many beauty of theatre - Shakespeare, Chekov, mask before you decide to be clown. If you stay with clown you are going to die. Dying and you don’t know Shakespeare, dying and you don’t know Marlowe, dying and you don’t know Moliere: that is bad. You have to fill yourself with all the beauties of theatre.”