Blog blog blog. Bored bored bored. Got home late after doing the clown shuffle round the Louvre with the crew.
Practiced being undignified with Christy in the apartment; honesting out all my insecurities and jealousies with helpless giggles and and groans, wrinkle-browed scowls and flapping hands. Christy red-faced and laughing beside me. Her offering me apples, cheese, a music choice and me like a child whining, ‘Nooooo! Nothing can help me!' and then all of us laughing some more.
I am bored and jealous and sick of not knowing what I’m doing. Today wasn’t bad. In fact I got some snippits of niceness and I learned something. But I just can’t quite bear to write down the exercises and copy out the charming insults and write the same blog entry I’ve been writing.
I want to be a brilliant clown and I want my story to be dramatic.
Its not.
But there is definitley some goodness in the world. Tonight Christy grabbed the dead roses from the rubbish and pelted the petals at Luke, yelling ‘ROMANCE!!’ then she said ‘I hate red noses, they can go and get ...’
I was doing three-sixties on the bed laughing.
It makes me wonder what we'll be like in class tomorrow.
Love from,
Your Little Gorilla
Nadine waiting for her go in class today.
I think my hipstamatic makes me a lot like that French painter man with the ballet girls.
Clowning seems a pretty rich metaphor for life; all this stripping away, wanting to be loved, accepting the vulnerable, wanting, but not pushing. I am loving reading of your adventures, especially this insight in to real lifey, unglam, day to day hard bits. I can't wait to hear how this all impacts on your art practice and life in the years to come! Alex K x
ReplyDeleteThanks. I think you're right about the metaphor for life thing. Its hard to guess how it will impact my work from now. x
ReplyDeleteYour words are so beautiful and honest! A brilliant clown you will be! I was once told that I had a voice like a rabbits fart on a plastic bag and that I should be sent back to south Australia to do theatre for children. ..among other unmentionable nasties! Xxxxx love EJ
ReplyDeletethanks ej xxxxx
ReplyDelete